The time is NOW. . . . almost!

You know that feeling you get right before a big vacation? You start counting down each day, you have a hard time sleeping, your mind feels like it's already at your destination just waiting for the rest of you to catch up? That is exactly where I am these days! At just about a month away from my departure, I find myself more and more "out of it" here and ready for the next stage in this adventure that God has called me to! It's funny how a couple months ago I thought this time would never come, I was weighed down with all the "hurdles" of the process that were ahead of me. . . and as cliche as it sounds, as I look back I realize now that those "hurdles" were preparing me for the things to come. I don't feel relieved now that they are done, I feel prepared(although there is a certain amount of relief in knowing that they are done!). As I finish up loose ends here and there, all I can do is thank God for the amazing, supportive, encouraging and loving people He has placed around me. . . . friends who challenge me, push me and walk beside me in this journey. Friends who reminded me of the words of Isaiah 64:4 . . ."(He) acts for those who wait for Him.". . . . As I move forward towards whatever He may lead me to I always remember that no matter the perceived challenges I face or nagging thoughts that creep in, when I stand before God I want to know that I was faithful to His calling on my life because nothing else matters in this world! . . . . Let the countdown begin!!!

Just When I Needed It Most. . .

Have you ever been walking or driving somewhere, not paying attention and all of a sudden you look up and wonder, How did I get here? Well, I have that problem in life sometimes! As hard as I try to avoid it and stay alert.  . . sometimes I let frustrations, doubts and circumstances get the best of me and before I know it I look around and wonder how I got where I am. And then something happens and God reminds me that He is always there, ready to save me.
The last several months have been a blur of trying to get ready for the next chapter in my life abroad and just when things started falling in place. . . all of a sudden it began to feel like they just as quickly started falling apart. Frustration and doubt began to flood my mind and distract me. I woke up a couple weeks ago with this horrible feeling, I was mad, I was sad, I was frustrated and confused, everyday seemed to be a never ending barrage of problem after problem and I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. As I began to think about where I was I realized something. . . it had been weeks since I had just sat down and had real, honest prayer/quiet time with God. It's a really tough place to be when you're getting ready to leave on His mission and you're not talking to Him. I was crushed, how did I get here again? How could I loose sight of Him in the middle of trying to do His work? How could He want ME to be a part of His mission?
Just as He always does, He stepped in just when I needed Him most! He reminded me that all the problems. . . He knew them, He knew they were coming and more importantly, He is bigger than all of them. The doubts, the frustration. . . He's got it all! As I started to get back on track in my prayer/quiet time everything began to fall back into focus, how easily I forget that it will always be in focus so long as I keep mine!
It hasn't been a cake walk since then, but we're back in this together, Him leading and me following and I can not wait for the journey that we are embarking on! And just to top it off , He reminded me again this weekend of His presence and peace that I can find in Him through some friends who I got a chance to visit with, they are great guys who love God and love using their music and talent to show Him to others! They have a song that has always spoke to me. . . but really YELLED this time! Here's some of the lyrics, I hope they speak to you just as they do to me and that you are reading them just when you need them most!
       "When did you stop believing there was hope for you? When will you realize you will make it through? There is a love, you've been waiting for, there is an answer, there is a cure. There is a healer who's ready to save you, He's ready to save. . . . .  . Break down, break down let it out. Don't hold the hand of another doubt. You gotta know, yeah you gotta know, there's something more to this life if you let go."  - Ready to Save by Satellites & Sirens

A Big Fat YES. . .

Who ever thought such a short unassuming word could have such impact on your life? Sitting tonight and chatting with a friend, I thought back to when my life began to take the turn that would eventually lead to where I am today and remembered that it all started with three little letters. . .Y - E - S.
During that conversation, my very wise friend reminded me of something very important that I had almost lost sight of. . . that yes trumps every other circumstance in my life.
I remember how easy that first yes was, how I stepped back and allowed God to step in and overflow in my life and how that moved me on to the next yes and the next. . . . but somewhere along the line, I forgot about the yes' and just started seeing the frustrations. I got swept up in the road blocks, I froze in the face of adversity and became lazy in the journey. I allowed other people and other circumstances to pull my focus away from the yes. For the first time I had an all new understanding of Luke 9:23.
"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."
I had always looked at that verse and thought about burdens, troubles, sorrow. . . .I had never humbled myself enough to realize that my "cross" could be something as common as sticking to a decision to say yes and all that comes with that, like sitting down and filling out paperwork. So, where does that leave me? Right here, right in the middle of my big fat YES!
I said yes 3 years ago and I continue to say yes today.God continues to work in my life, revealing areas that He wants to stretch and grow and reminding me that I have been called, set apart and equipped. Regardless of confusion, frustration or doubt in my life from myself or others around me, I am pushing forward, answering the call with a yes and moving towards the goal which has been put before me!
Praying that you all hear the call that He has placed in your lives and answer with a big fat YES! :-)

You gotta have faith. . .

"And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years. She had suffered a great deal under the care of many doctors and had spent all she had, yet instead of getting better she grew worse. When she heard about Jesus, she came up behind him in the crowd and touched his cloak, because she thought, “If I just touch his clothes, I will be healed.” Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once Jesus realized that power had gone out from him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, “Who touched my clothes?” “You see the people crowding against you,” his disciples answered, “and yet you can ask, ‘Who touched me?’ ” But Jesus kept looking around to see who had done it.Then the woman, knowing what had happened to her, came and fell at his feet and, trembling with fear, told him the whole truth. He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”  - Mark 5:25-34

Faith, something I think about often and yet this story is not one that immediately jumps to memory when I do. As God drew me to this story, repeatedly. . . and in all three gospels, I really began to look at and think about it and began to wonder why it doesn't come to mind more often? This is a story about a woman who had faith to do unconventional, courageous and extreme things. Sure to us, pushing through a crowd to touch Christ's cloak may not sound that outrageous. . . but in the context of her time, it was huge! In Leviticus if anyone touched a woman in her "condition" they were deemed unclean, and here she is fighting to touch Christ. She knew, her faith wasn't a huge leap, hoping that maybe He could help, maybe He could lighten the load. Her faith was knowing that He would completely heal, completely comfort and completely love her, in spite of everything else. As I compare this story to my own, my fear of the future, my confusion of the next step. . . I realize, my faith is in Him, and that faith is a knowledge that He is guiding my steps, He is in every detail and He is my rock, my redeemer, my comfort, my King. . . . He is my God.

Send Me

"And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then I said, 'Here am I! Send me.'" - Isaiah 6:8

As most people know, or are finding out, that small phrase, "send me", has become my life's motto over the past several months. It all started about 3 years ago on a short term trip to South Africa, God got a hold of my life and set me on a path that lead to where I am today. . . . now if I could just figure out where that is! As I've started moving forward in the plans He has laid out for me some pretty big life changes have occured, none bigger, to most people, than quitting my job. Maybe the gravity of that decision hasn't set in for me or maybe God is sheltering me from the worry that usually accompanies a decision like that because . . . . I am LOVING it! There is the small issues of cash flow being dramatically reduced, but God is finding ways to provide above and beyond what I ever imagined. So next, I go. . . where is still up in the air and any prayer for wisdom in making that decision is greatly appreciated! God continues to pull my heart and mind toward India, Cambodia and other SW Asain countries and I continue to look for opportunities and ministries that I could potentially partner with there. As I continue on the journey I'll be updating this blog much more often, no more 2 year lulls! I thought that would be the best way to keep those people updated who want to be updated on where this adventure is taking me! As I look back over the several years that have brought me here, I'm amazed at the people, situations and friendships that God has blessed my life with and used to show me that this is the path He has laid out for me, I eagerly anticipate each new day to live a life worthy of His calling and to see the beauty and wonder within that He continues to provide!