Just When I Needed It Most. . .

Have you ever been walking or driving somewhere, not paying attention and all of a sudden you look up and wonder, How did I get here? Well, I have that problem in life sometimes! As hard as I try to avoid it and stay alert.  . . sometimes I let frustrations, doubts and circumstances get the best of me and before I know it I look around and wonder how I got where I am. And then something happens and God reminds me that He is always there, ready to save me.
The last several months have been a blur of trying to get ready for the next chapter in my life abroad and just when things started falling in place. . . all of a sudden it began to feel like they just as quickly started falling apart. Frustration and doubt began to flood my mind and distract me. I woke up a couple weeks ago with this horrible feeling, I was mad, I was sad, I was frustrated and confused, everyday seemed to be a never ending barrage of problem after problem and I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. As I began to think about where I was I realized something. . . it had been weeks since I had just sat down and had real, honest prayer/quiet time with God. It's a really tough place to be when you're getting ready to leave on His mission and you're not talking to Him. I was crushed, how did I get here again? How could I loose sight of Him in the middle of trying to do His work? How could He want ME to be a part of His mission?
Just as He always does, He stepped in just when I needed Him most! He reminded me that all the problems. . . He knew them, He knew they were coming and more importantly, He is bigger than all of them. The doubts, the frustration. . . He's got it all! As I started to get back on track in my prayer/quiet time everything began to fall back into focus, how easily I forget that it will always be in focus so long as I keep mine!
It hasn't been a cake walk since then, but we're back in this together, Him leading and me following and I can not wait for the journey that we are embarking on! And just to top it off , He reminded me again this weekend of His presence and peace that I can find in Him through some friends who I got a chance to visit with, they are great guys who love God and love using their music and talent to show Him to others! They have a song that has always spoke to me. . . but really YELLED this time! Here's some of the lyrics, I hope they speak to you just as they do to me and that you are reading them just when you need them most!
       "When did you stop believing there was hope for you? When will you realize you will make it through? There is a love, you've been waiting for, there is an answer, there is a cure. There is a healer who's ready to save you, He's ready to save. . . . .  . Break down, break down let it out. Don't hold the hand of another doubt. You gotta know, yeah you gotta know, there's something more to this life if you let go."  - Ready to Save by Satellites & Sirens

A Big Fat YES. . .

Who ever thought such a short unassuming word could have such impact on your life? Sitting tonight and chatting with a friend, I thought back to when my life began to take the turn that would eventually lead to where I am today and remembered that it all started with three little letters. . .Y - E - S.
During that conversation, my very wise friend reminded me of something very important that I had almost lost sight of. . . that yes trumps every other circumstance in my life.
I remember how easy that first yes was, how I stepped back and allowed God to step in and overflow in my life and how that moved me on to the next yes and the next. . . . but somewhere along the line, I forgot about the yes' and just started seeing the frustrations. I got swept up in the road blocks, I froze in the face of adversity and became lazy in the journey. I allowed other people and other circumstances to pull my focus away from the yes. For the first time I had an all new understanding of Luke 9:23.
"Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me."
I had always looked at that verse and thought about burdens, troubles, sorrow. . . .I had never humbled myself enough to realize that my "cross" could be something as common as sticking to a decision to say yes and all that comes with that, like sitting down and filling out paperwork. So, where does that leave me? Right here, right in the middle of my big fat YES!
I said yes 3 years ago and I continue to say yes today.God continues to work in my life, revealing areas that He wants to stretch and grow and reminding me that I have been called, set apart and equipped. Regardless of confusion, frustration or doubt in my life from myself or others around me, I am pushing forward, answering the call with a yes and moving towards the goal which has been put before me!
Praying that you all hear the call that He has placed in your lives and answer with a big fat YES! :-)